I went to a furneral this morning and though I wasn't close to this person or anyone there anymore it has made me quite sad.
There were hundeds of mourners and the bloke talking up front said some nice things about the dead guy. It made me think. It seemed that he was well liked by many. I hope he knew it.
I really like some of the people there and find it sad that I no longer have anything to do with them. And sad that I won't see them again unless it's at another furneral.
I don't think many people will come to my furneral, maybe family would, but would they be mourners? I'd hope so. lol.
But what if dozens come, maybe even three score and ten, will it mean that they liked me and they will miss me? If yes, then why don't I see them now, why do I need to wait until I die to see how many people value me?
Seeing all these people from many, many years ago has also made me see how we change as we get older. Some of these people, ones that I used to be really close to, I didn't recognise some of them. I now see myself as old and I don't want to be.
But I am alive. What will I do with the time I have left? What will I change to be a better person? To get people to like me and value me?
Nothing. I will go on with my life as I have been and when I die I won't know if 10 people or 100 people come and mourn me.
Such is life.
Going round in circles
6 hours ago