Sunday, September 26, 2010

Thinking and Thoughts.

We had a nice day out yesterday, lunch with family to celebrate a sisters 50th.
It was lovely to see everyone but it kind of made me sad.

I saw all these people, my family and their friends, that get on so well together and see each other all the time and because I don't have any friends to visit or that I do stuff with, go places with, etc. I kinda felt alone and lonely and I shouldn't have as I love my life, enjoying the simple things and being able to do what I want when I want. 
But I did kinda envy them all, a little too much for my own good.  It is me that is the problem though.  Because we don't see people very often and our lives are so different to other peoples I have no idea what to talk about with any of them so tend to mainly sit back and keep to myself.

Talked to Hubby about it on the way home, about me needing friends and *a life* 

Did I have no friends because a wasn't a nice person?  Was I boring?  Was I a nasty bitch that no-one wanted anything to do with?  What was/is it about me that discourages people from wanting to get to know me better and then liking what they find enough to want to do stuff with me?

What could I do to meet more people?
**I could join some clubs... I'm not that interested in anything though.
**I could invite people over for lunch.  Been there done that, nearly a dozen times over 2 years, and though they said they enjoyed it and "we should do this more often" and they talked about doing  it at their house next time I was never invited anywhere.  I see them down the shop and they say "great to see you, we must catch up" then they go off and I never hear from them so obviously they didn't mean it too much.
**I could play a sport of some kind and meet people there.  Yeah, don't laugh too much at that one!

It came up that to meet people like me will be hard as like minded people are probably at home working in their gardens, not going out, they are trying to cut their carbon footprint by staying home and living *simply*

So I need to accept that some people need to like themselves and enjoy their own company, which luckily I do, and get on with things.  Some real friends would be nice but my life is good as it is. 

I need to "Suck it up", "Get over it"  and all those other great sayings that I love to use and get out there and plant a next time I feel lonely I will have something to hug!


  1. Hi Barb I know what you are saying , I have suffered with cfs for a long time and tend to keep to myself ,I also love my own company there is so much to do to keep me occupied, I love to sew ,read,cook, craft be outside in the garden.
    I can get the same way when we do get together with friends or family! My dearest friends don't live close by one now lives in Gearldton, rest live in Perth to far to go just for a cuppa ! some other friends of ours that have become friends through my son at school 3 families that we are very friendly with two are going to Sydney to live and one Melbourne for 3 months then going to live in Perth all for work /family reasons ! we will catch up soon I'll be wanting some friends too :):):):)hope we can be friends you often say things on blog or SS and I think to myself gosh she sounds like me !
    cheers :)

  2. Yes, I quite often think you are copying me. lol. But you are *greener* I think. What are you doing on the 6th Oct? The kettle will be on here then.

  3. Wow - it sounded so much like conversations I have had with myself at times, except I haven't quite got to the positives bit yet, maybe I need to work harder on this gardening thing to find peace with myself too

  4. Wow I could have written that! Except I'm not to good with my own company, but never the less that's what I have most of the time :)
    I have just started reading your blog and love it.

  5. I can so relate to that ..... It was the type of feelings i was trying to get across on a thread i started on SS .... Thank you for posting this link.... . It's good to know you aren't the only person who feels that way ....