It's Friday the 4th January so we are 4 days into the new year. I woke up feeling good but then started feeling blah and teary for no reason and wondered why. Had some Magnesium as that usually helps but then I remembered today as something different. Thirty years ago today I was in a hospital so I missed daughter L's 1st birthday. Happy Birthday L. Sorry 'bout that.
I was put in hospital a week or 2 beforehand for what the doctors called "Chronic Clinical Depression" I only remember bits of the years leading up to it, husband says it's better that I don't remember things. He says things weren't good. I know it wasn't a good time for the kids...But I got better so today surprised me.
This time of year there are many people going through a hard time and some blame the Season. The being alone over Christmas and New Year period. They tell everyone that they are "depressed", maybe they are. Maybe they are just sad, lonely and afraid. This is different to true Depression
Depression is a bad thing, it mucks with your head and you become someone different. Sometimes someone not nice. There seems to be a lot of it around and sometimes I wonder why. What makes some people so sick that life becomes a chore and they want out? What makes us feel so bad that each day is an effort?
I know a few people that suffer from Depression and have been on medication and seeing counsellors for more than 20 years and I hear others talk of the same. Twenty years! I can not get my head around that. Twenty years and still not "better" Why would someone continue taking pills and doing the same thing for 20 years when it hasn't worked, when they still need medication and counselling? I truly don't get it.
A lot of these people drink and smoke and eat crap to relieve the stress and pain of their Depression, does this work for them? Maybe. Maybe they would be worse off if they didn't. Maybe.
I was talking to someone about this recently and they told me that I didn't understand. That I would never know what they had been through and so shouldn't try to give advice. I had told her she should stop filling her body with poisons and she might have a chance at getting better and she didn't like that. Said it wasn't that easy. But what if it was that easy? Give it a go and tell me in 3 months that you don't feel better. Don't tell me that I don't understand. Been there, done that.
And don't blame your childhood for how you are today. Some people have really crappy childhoods, some get hurt so bad..., some people have major losses to deal with... Of course it's going to mess with our head. Don't let it ruin your life though.
I believe that Depression can be fixed, that people can recover from it, that they can get better. If you suffer from this please don't take offence at anything I have written. I'm not saying it's your fault, I'm saying that if what you have been doing for the last 20 or how many years is not working then just try something different. It may be that simple.
Listen to Lilly.
2 hours ago